Okay, I know that a lot of all the sweet stuff happens to our favorite ship in the winter season. If not in the books, in the movies - made possible by the biggest harmony shipper ever, the unholy harmony trinity - but I am not going to be blind-sided by the sweetness of it all because NO. Harry and Hermione may be the sweetest and they shared a moment in Godric’s Hollow night of Christmas Eve, but that will never ever ever EVER beat the misery and -if you are a tinhatter (just learned this term a few days ago) like me- the unconditional love that is Christmas morning.
sure fine its sweet. They cried they hugged, they held onto each other, they wished each other ‘Merry Christmas’ but you guys fucking forgot the biggest plotline. You guys forgot the fucking snake.
I couldn’t rant about it because it was Christmas and I was overly emotional at that time (dark dark times) and ranting about the dramatic part of Harmony is only gonna make i worse and I won’t have a clear mind about it when I rant. Not that my rants are considered coherent most of the time anyway nor is it intelligent. It’s just my dumb brain squeezing my stupid hard because I can’t shake the feeling of impending doom when I see that particular gif up there.
Everybody makes Harmony to be sweet like this. It’s Christmas Eve it’s sad that HArry’s crying. Well, it’s sad for Hermione too. Not because she’s thinking of her family in Australia (she probably thinks about them the entire time of the book/movie) but because come Christmas morning, she has a severely ill, almost dying Harry next to her. ON A BLOODY CHRISTMAS DAY!!. Now you tell me. Of course it’s not said in the books or the movie because a majority of the story is told from Harry’s perspective. His point of view. So when he passes out, you don’t get to see the rest of the world that isn’t revolving around him. OR the ones that do revolve around him because HERMIONE revolves around him. Or maybe it’s the other way round but we can’t tell because movies like this are biased in their views.
So imagine having held your best friend’s hand and squeezing it to support him through his dark times, of him remembering his dead parents (whom he doesn’t really know at all but has memories bad bad memories), seeing him cry. Probably her first time seeing him cry silently. So openly (i didn’t forget Sirius in PoA). His heart out for her to see. Then Harry is stupid and leads Hermione to imminent danger and I can’t forgive him for doing that. Okay I know, logically and being desperate about the horcrux and his future and everybody else’s future, the inevitable has to happen. Even if it’s unexpected. Harry knew Hermione would be there for him regardless and he trusted her skills and intelligence and her titanium spirit and respected her actual WHOLE being that he ddin’t doubt her once. He was so confident of her that he didn’t think twice as he went with Bagshot into that house that probably screamed DANGER.
Mind you, this was Christmas Eve. And the Nagini happened and Harry and Hermione saved each other. GRoping in the dark and went to safety. Safety my ass. Harry’s poisoned (YET AGAIN) and Hermione is (ONCE AGAIN) his savior. it’s still christmas Eve and Hermione is watching over a dying Harry. There is NO WAY she’s not gonna remember this every Christmas from now on. She has a septic looking boy in her arms through out christmas. She didn’t even get that much sleep that night. TRY TO BE IN HER SHOES!! Look at it from HER side of the story.
Hermione pushed and shoved Harry’s dead weight into their tent. Harry apparated them back safely enough but the magic in him wheezed out and he collapsed on her, heavy, unfortunately a few meters short of the tent’s entrance. They lay a messy heap in the thick snow. At first, Hermione was too stunned to move. Harry, in his delirious state kept on murmuring ‘stay safe Hermione. Stay safe’ as though she’s the one that was bitten by a large snake. But then she moved. She saw a glimpse of the splintered wand in Harry’s hand and flinched. The bright Phoenix feather tethering the broken dark wood. She could deal with that later.
To say, Harry was severely ill was an understatement. He was dying. She did the best medical-related magic and even conjured up incantations of her own - the ones she secretly made in case of emergencies - and prayed to anybody or whatever that was listening to help save him. For her.
All she did was sat by him, running warm water over his body to cool off his burning skin. Huddled closer to him to lend him her heat as he shivers through the sepsis. Held his hand when murmurs soothing phrases to him. Sometimes begging for him to stay alive. She was in actual fact praying to him. Only she doesn’t realize that.
After a few painful hours, he stopped fidgeting and Hermione thought he was officially dead. Her mind reeling. But then he was moving sluggishly and managed to open a slit of his eyelids to look at her. She feels the green eyes scanning her face, as if to make sure that SHE was okay when Harry himself is on his deathbed. Then he was muttering gibberish and slumped back into unconsciousness but this time he appeared to sleep. To really sleep the slumber of healing and Hermione could finally breathe again.
She thought of all their moments throughout the years they have been friends and Hermione was glad that despite the grave situation they are in, she wouldn’t want anybody else to be in this position with Harry. She didn’t think they could serve him justice. She has always been the one to take care of him. Pull his ass out of fire countless times. And she wouldn’t have it any other way. So she gripped his hand tighter, willing him to continue on living so that her efforts won’t be in vain. She spoke to the nothingness that was around them.
"Merry Christmas, Harry"
Hermione never thought of Christmas the same way.
Imagine this happening okay. AND FUCK you for making me think this way, Jo Rowling. Fuck you and your characters.
Hermione will always ALWAYS think of this Christmas. Yeah she can move on from it but she won’t ever forget it. Even if she’s with somebody else (the canon pairing still exist bleh). Yea JKR, Harry and Hermione shared something meaningful christmas eve but you made Hermione (almost like yourself) suffer the consequence of on Christmas. It will stay with Hermione forever. and she’ll have to endure it alone because Harry doesn’t even remember that he was dying on Christmas.
That is why…. I think our unholy trinity realized this and after all the emotional and mental and physical stress Hermione had to deal with that few days, they let her indulge. They let her be selfish just this once and voiced out her only genuine/personal opinion in this whole outcast situation.
"Maybe we should stay here, Harry. Grow old"
But canon had to happen. So motherfucking shit balls. I am done.
Tagged as: harmony ~ personal ~ what i wrote ~ I'M SORRY I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF ~ I'M SO SENSITIVE RIGHT NOW ~ I can't go on living like this ~
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